Less Overthinking, More Living: The Case for Being Present
As a therapist, one of the most common themes I encounter in my work is the struggle people have with simply being present. In a world driven by deadlines, distractions, and a constant stream of digital noise, it’s easy to lose touch with the here and now. We often find ourselves either ruminating about the past or worrying about the future, rarely giving our full attention to the moment we're actually living in.
But presence—true, grounded awareness of the present moment—is where healing happens. It’s where we reconnect with ourselves, our emotions, and the people we love. Over time, I’ve seen how learning to be present can transform not only a person’s mental health but also their relationships, sense of purpose, and overall well-being.
Why Presence Matters
Presence is more than a buzzword or a self-help trend. At its core, being present is a fundamental human need. It’s the foundation for emotional regulation, effective communication, and meaningful connection. When we're present, we're not judging or escaping what is; we're engaging with it—fully and honestly.
In therapy, I often explain presence using mindfulness principles. Mindfulness doesn’t necessarily mean meditating on a cushion for hours. It means noticing what’s happening right now without trying to change it. It’s about feeling your breath, hearing the tone in someone’s voice, noticing tension in your shoulders, or truly tasting your morning coffee. These small acts of awareness are grounding—and deeply healing.
The Cost of Disconnection
When we’re not present, we disconnect—not only from the moment but from ourselves and those around us. This can show up in subtle but significant ways:
In relationships, we may appear distracted, uninterested, or emotionally unavailable. Over time, this leads to misunderstandings, resentment, and a lack of intimacy.
In parenting, we miss the little moments that matter most—curious questions, spontaneous laughter, quiet needs for reassurance. Children, in particular, feel the difference when our minds are elsewhere.
In our internal world, a lack of presence can fuel anxiety and depression. We overthink. We catastrophize. We avoid. Our mind becomes a place of noise instead of refuge.
One client once told me, “I feel like I’m always missing my own life.” And they’re not alone. It’s a quiet, often unspoken ache many people carry. But the good news is, it doesn’t have to stay that way.
Cultivating Presence in Daily Life
Being present is a skill—one that can be developed over time. In therapy, I encourage clients to build this skill through small, intentional practices. Here are a few that consistently make a difference:
1. Breath as an Anchor
Your breath is always with you. It’s the simplest, most reliable tool for returning to the moment. When you notice your thoughts drifting or your emotions spiking, take a few slow, conscious breaths. Feel the air entering and leaving your body. This isn’t about controlling your breath, but noticing it.
2. Name What You Notice
A helpful grounding exercise is to name—silently or aloud—what you observe in the moment. “I see the sunlight on the floor. I hear birds outside. I feel tension in my shoulders.” This kind of observational thinking brings you back to the present, away from spirals of worry or regret.
3. Single-Tasking Over Multitasking
We glorify multitasking, but it often divides our attention. Try doing one thing at a time, whether it’s eating, talking, walking, or even washing dishes. Give it your full awareness. You might be surprised how different—even peaceful—ordinary activities feel when you slow down.
4. Put Away the Phone
This is a tough one for many, myself included. Our devices are designed to steal our attention. Consider creating phone-free zones or times during your day. Be intentional about how often you check your notifications. Presence requires space—and silence.
5. Be Present With Others
When someone is speaking to you, practice truly listening. Don’t think about your response, scroll through your phone, or rehearse your next task. Just listen. Eye contact, nodding, and brief verbal acknowledgments (“I see,” “That makes sense”) all show that you're fully there with them.
Presence in the Therapy Room
As a therapist, I see presence as one of the greatest gifts I can offer my clients. When I sit with someone—fully, without judgment—I’m not just analyzing their words. I’m noticing their tone, their posture, their silence. I’m feeling the emotional undercurrents in the room. That presence creates a safe space, a much needed pause from the chaos of life.
Clients often tell me, “I’ve never said that out loud before.” And I believe that kind of vulnerability only emerges when someone feels genuinely seen and heard. Being present with someone is a powerful act of care.
The Deeper Rewards
What do we gain when we start living more presently? The answer is different for everyone, but here are some common transformations I witness:
Greater peace of mind – Worry lessens its grip when you’re focused on what’s happening now rather than what might happen next.
Deeper relationships – Presence fosters empathy, honesty, and connection.
More gratitude – When we slow down, we notice life’s beauty and meaning more clearly.
Improved mental health – Anxiety, depression, and stress often ease when we break free from autopilot living.
Presence doesn’t mean we ignore our responsibilities or live in denial of difficult feelings. It means we meet life where it’s happening—with honesty and compassion.
A Gentle Reminder
If you find it hard to stay present, be kind to yourself. It’s not easy, especially in a culture that promotes distraction. Presence is not about perfection; it’s about returning. Again and again, moment after moment.
So the next time you find your thoughts spiraling or your day slipping by in a blur, pause. Breathe. Look around. Feel your feet on the ground. Listen to the sound of your own voice. You’re here. This moment is real. And that, more than anything, is enough.
In presence, we rediscover ourselves. And from that grounded place, everything begins to change.
Shikha is a therapist/owner of The Therapeutic Way, Counselling and Psychotherapy Services. Her and her team are relationship and relational trauma therapists who works with individuals, couples, and families who have been on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse, gone through trauma, experiencing relationship issues, and experienced attachment wounds as a child or adult. Her team uses a trauma-informed and holistic approaches to help their clients.
Thinking of therapy? Schedule your free 20 mins consultation call to see how we can help.
For more information reach us at info@thetherapeuticway.ca or call/text (289) 635-4660.
Therapy services: Online Anywhere in Ontario; Hamilton, ON; Burlington, ON, Oakville, ON; Mississauga, ON; Milton, ON.
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Online therapy is as effective as in person therapy. What is most important with any format of therapy is the strong therapeutic relationship between you and your therapist. Online therapy is a good option when coming in-person is not feasible, when you have dependents at home, and it is also more convenient.
At The Therapeutic Way, we offer online therapy and therapy by phone from the convenience of your home. Click here to learn more about our online therapy.
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Not necessarily. Online therapy and in-person therapy are usually the same cost as their effectiveness are the same. Online therapy can also be most cost effective for the client as transportation is not involved. Now, there are therapy apps or programs that area available to clients that are cheaper than traditional therapy. However, the effectiveness of those programs are questionable, and they are most likely not covered by insurance.
At The Therapeutic Way, we offer online therapy with a registered psychotherapist that is covered by most insurance providers and helps you save the cost of transportation.
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There are many different types of therapist that you can choose from. Before reaching out to a therapist, it’s important to know what issue you would like to work on. A tip is to seek out a therapist who specializes the issue and problem you are facing with. For example, if you would like to work on trauma, a therapist who focuses on eating disorders may not be the best fit.
It is also important to decide what type of therapist you are looking for, such as gender, experience, their approaches to therapy, etc. It’s also a good idea to check with your insurance provider which type of therapist they cover. A lot of therapists offer free consultation calls for you to decide they are a right fit.
At The Therapeutic Way, we specializes in relationship issues, relational trauma, narcissistic abuse recovery, and attachment wounds. We work with adults, couples, and families over the age of 16.
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The type of therapy that is best for you, depends on you as a person and the reason you are seeking therapy. There are different types of therapy, such as somatic-based therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, trauma-informed therapies, holistic therapy, existential therapy, and more. The type of therapy that is right for you will depend what you are looking for. While you may have an input in this, majority of the time the therapist will know what is best suited for you and will let you know.
At The Therapeutic Way, we work with clients using an integrative approach to therapy, meaning using different modalities to suit your needs. We use a trauma-informed, holistic, and relational approach to working with you. Click here to learn more.
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The term psychotherapy and counselling are often used interchangeably with some slight differences. Psychotherapy refers to the treatment based for psychological disorders and mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc. Counselling refers to wellness support and providing insights and clarity which leads to growth or personal betterment. At The Therapeutic Way, we provide both psychotherapy and counselling.
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The difference between psychotherapist, psychologist, and psychiatrist, depends on education and scope of practice.
Psychotherapist, psychologist, and psychiatrist can provide therapy called talk therapy.
A psychotherapist can provide therapy under the College of Registered Psychotherapist of Ontario, a psychologist can provide therapy under the College of Psychologists of Ontario, and a psychiatrist can provide therapy under College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario.
Difference:
Psychotherapist Education: Master’s Degree or higher
Psychologist Education: PhD or PsyD.
Psychiatrist: MD
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Psychotherapist: Can’t diagnose
Psychologist: Can do assessment and diagnose
Psychiatrist: Can do assessment, diagnose, and prescribe medication
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Psychotherapist Training: Counselling and focus on therapy techniques
Psychologist: Focus on clinical research and assessment
Psychiatrist: Use medical treatment such as prescribing medications for mental health conditions
Before seeking help, it’s important to know what you need and are seeking. A consultation call can help you decide.
At The Therapeutic Way, we are registered psychotherapist with the College of Registered Psychotherapist of Ontario.